Archive | February 2012

I Am Complete!


    

When I was younger I always felt like the outsider in the group, it really never mattered if I was with my best friend or with another group of people. I would see someone whispering and think they were talking about me. I would see a few people huddled in a corner laughing and think they were laughing at me. I just wanted to be accepted. I didn’t understand why I felt like this.

   Then when I got old enough to start dating I just wanted to be with someone. I wanted that Jerry Mcquire moment where I found that person who completed me. The problem was that with each person I dated I changed who I was to meet what they wanted in a girl friend. My dating life became my best acting performance, truly I could have won an Oscar.

   Now looking back at my life it saddens me to know that very few people actually knew the real me. They never really took the time to find the person inside, they only wanted to know the person that conformed to meet their needs.

   Finally the day came though where I began to put myself first in my own life. It’s like a lightbulb popped on in my head shedding light on my entire existence. One of the most important things I came to understand at that time was that…..

YOU DON”T NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU.

YOU ONLY NEED SOMEONE TO ACCEPT YOU COMPLETELY.

   It took awhile for me to figure it out, I’m a slow learner when it comes to me! 🙂 But I finally get it! The only person I need to complete me is me. I have full control of my life and with the guiding hand of my personal Lord and Savior all things are possible. He did not create me to be a victim in my life. I was made for magnificient things, born to greatness, and worthy of the life He laid out for me. Created in the image of a King! WOW! Now that is a powerful thought.

   I am complete because I was created by perfection, no I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m saying He does not make mistakes. I had to figure this out on my own. It didn’t matter how often people told me I was beautiful, I always felt ugly. It didn’t matter how many people said, Tammy you can sing, you can write, girl you got talent. I couldn’t accept their words I would smile say thank you, but in my heart of hearts not believe a word of it. I felt inferior, I felt unworthy, and I felt like I was the only one in the world feeling like this.

   Yet, when it hit me that I was all those things and more that people said about me I wanted to curl up and cry. Not because I was sad but because I was relived that I wasn’t alone and that the value people saw in me was real. I cried because I could finally see myself through His eyes even if just for a moment, I could finally see I was already complete.

   I will never look for a person, or a man, to complete me again. I am COMPLETE! Now I just have to focus on taking my completeness to another level and fine tuning it, so that I run like a well oiled and maintained machine. I have to continue to trust the God in me, the God that resides in my life and allow myself to go to the next level. We hold ourselves back from life, life does not hold us back!

   Have any of you ever felt incomplete? Have you felt alone, and like the world is laughing at you? Babygirl, you are not alone. And although my words can not help you find your completeness, I do hope you take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Your day is coming, hang on tight because you are in for the ride of your life!

xoxoxo TJ

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Small Daily Acts of Greatness…a concept more powerful then we realize. I live by the idea of baby steps. I learned that if I move to fast I often times end up retreating back into myself. If I take babysteps though I tend to be more apt to stick with the change in my life. This is a great post.

Live & Learn

A life of greatness is not reserved for the chosen few: women and men with perfect skin, flawless teeth and a royal pedigree. There are no extra human beings on the planet and every single one of us, I deeply believe, can choose to create a life of greatness and extraordinary meaning. It all comes down to Small Daily Acts of Greatness (SDAG). I have been teaching this principle and the impact has been profound. Essentially, a great life is nothing more than a series of great, well-lived days strung together like a necklace of pearls.

As you live your days, so you create your life. The point really is: if you show up fully each and every day and play your best game during the waking hours of each one of your days, you will be guaranteed an extraordinary life. If you improve your health or your relationships or…

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Just in Case You Haven’t Noticed


Hello all you beautiful and amazing people. I am so blessed to have found such an amazing community of bloggers, especially for my first time blogging. I haven’t completely figured out how this all works so I’m not sure if you get updates when I post pages to my blog. So in case you haven’t noticed I have added several pages to my blog in the time I’ve started blogging, my most recent which I posted tonight is a page dedicated to each of you and your success in life, whether it is weight loss, overcoming an addiction, moving past something in your life that has held you down, receiving a promotion, or whatever else you can think of. There is no such thing as a small success, every success should be celebrated. I want you to know you have a community of people supporting and celebrating with you whether we have met in person or just via the blog. So please take the time to visit my Success Stories page and celebrate each success posted. Also, if you would like share your success please email me at tammy.jordan1@comcast.net and put Inner Thin Girl in the subject line. I can’t wait to read all your stories.

Other pages you will see are Finding My Inner Thin Girl which I try to post on each Monday. This page is about my weight loss journey, really its my journal as well as my way of holding myself accountable to sticking with the plan this time and not allowing anymore excuses. I would love for you to follow me on my journey. I could also use any and all tips you might have, I’ve fought my weight for my entire life and it’s always been a losing battle, but this time I’m not alone and I will succeed.

Another page near and dear to my heart is When I Am Her, this page is where I will list my success as I grow closer to the woman inside of me who has been screaming for years to be released from her prison. I started this journey because of my dear friend Chivon Morris who wrote a book called When I Am Her. The book, When I Am Her talks about Chivon’s journey to finding the woman inside her that she had been holding back for whatever reason. She has created a exHERcise that helps women to envision the woman inside, the one that constantly is whispering try it try it and we ignore her, or the woman that we just refuse to believe is there. She helps us vision this women and then runs us through how we see our self now. The exHERcise gives us something to focus on a starting point.This book is something each and every woman young or old should read. It is her goal to make this a HER NATION.  Her Nation is about empowering women and helping them to reach their full potential.  Then soon she will be starting a group called A Woman’s Pride and its a group for all of us to come to and get encouragement and support on our journey of self discovery. She is calling it A Woman’s Pride because we are lionesses and we help to build each other up. I have grown so much in the short time I have been apart of this. You can check out her website at www.chivonmorris.com and www.thehernation.com you can also call and talk to her if you wish at 971-295-8960.

There are a few other pages and you are welcome to check each one out if you are interested. I welcome each of you to my blog and am excited to see where this next year takes me as I continue to grow and become the woman I was always meant to be.


chivonmorris

Good morning Chivon,

I am writing to tell you from my heart what a beautiful and inspiring book. I am going to be totally honest. I couldn’t put it down. It is a book that is well written and holds your curiosity. Your gift is this book, which wisdom and God’s blessings has flowed forth from your inner spirit. There are a lot of people out there who need to hear the testimony of the her. I see women in shelters that don’t know they have Her nor realize she is just yearning to come out. You are the person that could bring the Her out. I see teenagers who are just beginning down the road to find the her and I think you could help them to choose the right path with your book and a lecture of the “Her Nation.”

I just saw this morning where teenage girls…

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Pain


Sharing some of my old work with you today. I hope you enjoy it.

Pain

In the quiet of the night, memories fill my mind, as unshed tears fill my eyes.

One tear caressing my cheek as it slowly glides down my warm skin.

My heart aching with memories of what was and what should have been.

Tears more freely flow, as the pain grows, the realization of what is lost becomes all too real.

Your promises echoing in my mind, taunting me, “you’ll never have me”

My heart bleeding, wide open, suffocating from the pain, slowly dying inside.

Oblivious you are to my pain, caught in your own selfish desires and needs.

Tears burning my cheeks, scorching my skin like the hot pain that burns at my heart.

No Mistakes, Only Lessons!


 This was one of the harder lessons I ever had to learn. Being my own worst critic like most of us are I saw every failure as a weakness within myself. I beat myself up every time I didn’t quite hit the mark. I tore myself down with self-hatred. I expected others to do the same and when they didn’t I resented the fact that I hated the person I looked at in the mirror but they could find something redeemable. Does that make sense? I didn’t understand how they could see my failures but still have faith in me when my own faith no longer existed.

Slowly over the course of 37 years I started listening to my own words to my children. I always said the right things, but could never seem to apply them to my own life. I’m not saying that I’ve arrived and that I don’t beat myself up from time to time cause I do. However, I slowly started taking baby steps to becoming the best me possible and step by step, day by day I am turning into the woman I have always longed to be.

These baby steps don’t come without mistakes though. The difference is that now when I make a mistake I can see it for what it is, a mistake, and then move on. I can learn from it, rather than dwell on it. I can see the lesson and grow from there. I can finally say that I love myself. Do I still have days where I look in the mirror and just cry because I’m not where I want to be, ABSOLUTELY! But more of my days are filled with the good stuff now. I don’t have the self loathing.

I’m still working on the trusting my choices, but I know I will get there. My life was meant for more than just sitting around hating the person in the mirror and hiding from the world. My life was meant to be an instrument, finely tuned, and playing beautiful music that draws the people, that touches lives, that brings joy to people, and that changes lives.

I’m ready for the everything is possible part of my life to take off and flourish. What about you? Are you ready? Do you see how beautiful you are? How strong? Can you see that your failure, is your strength, not your weakness? Are you ready to fight for yourself?

 

Tuesday! Ugh!


Some weeks are so much longer than others, even though they all have the same hours in a day. Do you ever just want to crawl back into bed and hide all day long. That is where I am at today. My body is tired, my mind is tired, heck my soul is tired. Dang and it’s only Tuesday!!!

I’m normally a pretty positive person I think but today, I am going on close to a week of this stinking headache, I’m grouchy from this fast cause I’m HUNGRY lol, and someone forgot to hire me a maid!!!!! UGH!!!!

Okay, enough self-pity.

Hmmm well without the self-pity I’m not sure what to say today. Oh that is so sad. Y’all pray for this girl today cause I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Have a great Tuesday! I’m going back to bed. 🙂