Fear of Success, Am I Worth It

Do you ever wonder why you have all these brilliant ideas yet you are going nowhere? Have you ever thought to yourself I have to lose weight, wrote out your plan but never followed through for more than a few weeks? I can answer YES to both of these questions. I hear a lot of people say things like, “If she’d just get off her lazy butt she could lose that weight” or “That person is going nowhere in life cause they are too lazy”. I used to believe those statements were true. I believed that everyone who was struggling for money was just too lazy to work for it and I believed that because I was overweight I was just too lazy to lose it. Welllllll ladies and gentlemen I have news for you, it isn’t always about being lazy like EVERYONE seems to want to think.

I have been doing a lot of self-examination over the last couple years and I am finally realizing why my life hadn’t taken off in the direction I wanted it to go. You ready for this? There are two things.

1. Fear – I was scared of success, scared of what it would mean to my life. Would my friends still like me? Would my family look at me different? Would I be able to succeed or just fall on my butt? How would it change my life? So many questions with no definite answers. Okay that was the first one. The second one is a big one, one I didn’t believe for a very, very long time.

2. Worth – I never believed in my worth! I never thought I deserved the greatness that life has to offer. Then of course, because I didn’t believe in my worth, I didn’t believe anyone else could find value in me or anything I said or did. Just typing this right now makes me want to cry; I grieve for the young woman I was who never felt any value in herself.

I am 36 years old, 37 in Feb and much of my life I have hidden from life. I didn’t put myself out there, either out of fear or out of lack of worth. I missed out on a good portion of life because of these things. But today, at 36 I am fighting for myself again and I am realizing each day that I am worth it and that although I may be scared that if I expect change in my life then I have to make that change!

I know that I am not alone in this battle and that there are several ladies out there just like me who are lost in their lives, who don’t know who they truly are anymore, or who just don’t believe in themselves. To all those beautiful ladies who are struggling day in and day out I want you to know you are not alone and there is a way out. But first you have to be willing to BE THE CHANGE you want in your life.

One of my favorite quotes is, “I want you to live your life fully, unapologetically, with your head up. The warrior you have searched for is right there, inside of you” I believe Oprah Winfrey said that. When I read this quote I felt like she had given me permission to be the woman I wanted to be. I typed it up and posted it in my office and read it every day. My reminder that my warrior was sitting right there ready to fight for me whenever I was ready to unleash it. We all have that warrior, just sitting there waiting to be given permission to charge forward into battle and fight for us. Who is ready to unleash their warrior?