Fear of Success, Am I Worth It

Do you ever wonder why you have all these brilliant ideas yet you are going nowhere? Have you ever thought to yourself I have to lose weight, wrote out your plan but never followed through for more than a few weeks? I can answer YES to both of these questions. I hear a lot of people say things like, “If she’d just get off her lazy butt she could lose that weight” or “That person is going nowhere in life cause they are too lazy”. I used to believe those statements were true. I believed that everyone who was struggling for money was just too lazy to work for it and I believed that because I was overweight I was just too lazy to lose it. Welllllll ladies and gentlemen I have news for you, it isn’t always about being lazy like EVERYONE seems to want to think.

I have been doing a lot of self-examination over the last couple years and I am finally realizing why my life hadn’t taken off in the direction I wanted it to go. You ready for this? There are two things.

1. Fear – I was scared of success, scared of what it would mean to my life. Would my friends still like me? Would my family look at me different? Would I be able to succeed or just fall on my butt? How would it change my life? So many questions with no definite answers. Okay that was the first one. The second one is a big one, one I didn’t believe for a very, very long time.

2. Worth – I never believed in my worth! I never thought I deserved the greatness that life has to offer. Then of course, because I didn’t believe in my worth, I didn’t believe anyone else could find value in me or anything I said or did. Just typing this right now makes me want to cry; I grieve for the young woman I was who never felt any value in herself.

I am 36 years old, 37 in Feb and much of my life I have hidden from life. I didn’t put myself out there, either out of fear or out of lack of worth. I missed out on a good portion of life because of these things. But today, at 36 I am fighting for myself again and I am realizing each day that I am worth it and that although I may be scared that if I expect change in my life then I have to make that change!

I know that I am not alone in this battle and that there are several ladies out there just like me who are lost in their lives, who don’t know who they truly are anymore, or who just don’t believe in themselves. To all those beautiful ladies who are struggling day in and day out I want you to know you are not alone and there is a way out. But first you have to be willing to BE THE CHANGE you want in your life.

One of my favorite quotes is, “I want you to live your life fully, unapologetically, with your head up. The warrior you have searched for is right there, inside of you” I believe Oprah Winfrey said that. When I read this quote I felt like she had given me permission to be the woman I wanted to be. I typed it up and posted it in my office and read it every day. My reminder that my warrior was sitting right there ready to fight for me whenever I was ready to unleash it. We all have that warrior, just sitting there waiting to be given permission to charge forward into battle and fight for us. Who is ready to unleash their warrior?


10 thoughts on “Fear of Success, Am I Worth It

  1. Wow this blog post comes right from the core. You have a new path ahead of you and turning 37 isn’t so bad when you now know the direction that you are heading in. I commend you for being real in this post. You’re off to a great start this year and 2012 will be a year of reclaiming your dreams, your goals and your heart’s desires. Wishing you a successful year ahead. And YES! YOU’RE WORTH IT! 🙂 Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  2. better to realize this now, at almost 37, than to wake up in you fifties and wonder why your life doesn’t resemble what your hopes and dreams believe it should … hope you are able to let your inner warrior lead the way … good luck

  3. Wow, this gave me goosebumps when I read it. I decided to check out your blog, and man this post really hit hard. It is so true. I have such amazing ambitions, and yet I find myself struggling with how/when to get started. And, I’m not just talking about weight loss either, though that is #1 on my list. I have dreams of going back to college and getting my Master’s in Social Work so I can help the children of Arkansas who are in and out of state custody. I’ve printed out the application and what I need to do to apply. But, I haven’t taken another step yet.
    I think it is because I don’t feel like I’m worth it yet. This is something I struggle with so hard is learning to love myself and believe in myself. I don’t know where I lost my self-worth. I certainly wasn’t like this in high school. Back then, I was confident and so full of dreams and ambitions. I knew I wanted to help people and make a difference in this world. And yet, here these last 3 years I’ve felt like a shadow in this world, like my light fizzled out. So, I’m on the journey to light that fire of life back in myself. 🙂 Thank you for the wonderful post. I hope you don’t mind, but I think I will print that quote out to and stick it somewhere I can see it every day. Thanks agian, Charity

    • Hi Charity,
      I am touched that you got so much from my post. It is so hard to get your mojo flowing when you don’t see your own value. I am excited to hear more about you going to college and getting that Master’s. You can do it. I recently went back to school and graduated with my first degree at 36 and I can say it was an impowering feeling. So stoke the fire and burn baby burn lol. I’d love for you to keep me updated on your journey. You are worth it!

  4. Well Written!! Many, not just women, many need to hear this… with your permission, i plan to put a link to this post & quote you. Let me know if it’s ok with you.
    Thanks for being so honest & real. The fact that you have realised this means u r half-way there… keep working at it!

    • Hi Yoongz, Thank you, and I agree more then just women need to hear this and realize their worth, we all hold value. You are more then welcome to link this post and quote me…I am flattered that you would want to share it. Thank you again.

  5. Pingback: Fear of Success,Am I Worth It? | trippingdifferently

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