I wrote this a couple years ago…I figure what better time to repost and remind people to remember….
Memorial Day, A day, the last Monday in May (originally May 30th), on which those who died in active military service are remembered.
I wonder how many people have no clue what Memorial Day even means. How many people plan their BBQ’s, camping trips, and get togethers with nothing more on their mind than a cold beer and some laughs with a few friends.
It hurts my heart to think of all the men and women who gave their lives so that we could be free, all the families who lost their son, daughter, mother, father, aunt, or uncle. I can’t fathom the feeling of seeing someone walking to my front door in full uniform to tell me the one I love will no longer return to me. Tears stream from my eyes just thinking about it and my heart is just heavy with grief for all those who’s…
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I have left the topic of race alone for years out of fear of upsetting people I love, out of fear of losing friends, and out of fear of ridicule. I have listened to people who claim to love me talk about the white race making me feel like the scum at the bottom of the sea. I have heard the words “my people” more times than I can count and cringed because well to be honest I thought I was “your people”. I have listened to people complain about segregation yet continue to segregate themselves with the words they use and the actions they take. I have cried over hurtful things my friends and loved ones have said without even knowing how hurtful it was to me.
Now I may lose friends over this and I may make some enemies but that is okay. If I lose friends and make enemies for speaking what is on my mind in a respectful and loving manner then you were not meant to be in my life anyway.
I have been married to a black man for 15 years. I have gone to a “black” church for over 13 years. I have children that are mixed. One of my best friends is a beautiful black woman. I have faced hateful people. I have been called a traitor to my race. Black women have glared at me with hate because I have taken one of “their” good men. I have had someone in my own neighborhood drive by my house and scream out the word nigger making me drop to the ground in hopes that a rock coming through my window wasn’t the next thing following that hateful word. I have walked through the grocery store with my beautiful mixed babies and heard comments about how “it’s such a shame”. I have had people I thought loved me tell me,” I have to choose I can’t be black and white”. I have dealt with hate. I have dealt with racism. Maybe not in the same way you have but I have felt the fear, the anger, the bitterness, the outrage ect. I worry when I’m in crowded places. I’m scared for my kids when they leave this house. I constantly am aware of my surroundings waiting for that one ignorant person or group to attack with their hate.
Hate and ignorance is everywhere, in every race and sadly it isn’t going anywhere. We cannot change it, but we can change the way we respond to it. Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” And that is the simple truth. If you want to see change, start with yourself. Let go of the hate you carry. Forgive the past and anything else that is sucking the life out of you. React with love and generosity of spirit. Set the example. Release the bitterness. Dare to be different.
It really doesn’t matter what the issues are, have you ever seen anything solved with hate, judgment, or violence? Stop condemning and judging people because of the color of their skin or their history. Stop spitting hateful accusations. When we act out in this way we are no better than the ignorant hateful people out there. A matter of fact we are worse because we know we are wrong, they believe they are right.
You are all MY PEOPLE!!! I do not see color, nationality, religion, sex, ect as something that disqualifies you from being MY PEOPLE. I love you for the beautiful and wonderful person God made you to be. It’s time to make a change in ourselves. Be the change.
T. Jordan ~ Sept. 2014
Reading through posts from when I first started blogging, thought I would re-share this one. 🙂
Step inside my heart
Feel what I feel
See what I see
When I cry, understand why
When I laugh, feel it deep in your soul
See my struggles, understand them
Recognize my pain as your own
Hold my heart
Recognize its strength
Don’t control it
Take time to feel each heart beat
Breathe in and feel the thud against your own chest
Don’t take it for granted
Know that it is true
Unlike any other
By Tammy Jordan
“Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train.
“Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of city skylines and village halls.
“But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there our dreams will come true, and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
“How restlessly we pace the aisles….waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
“When we reach the station, that will be it,” we cry.
“When I’m 18….’
“When I buy a new 450sl Mercedes-Benz….’
“When I put the last kid through college….’
“When I have paid off the mortgage….’
“When I get a promotion….’
“When I reach the age of retirement. I shall live happily ever after.’
“Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of lifeis the trip, the Station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us.
“Relish the moment’ is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.
“It isn’t the burdens of today that drive a man mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.
“So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less.
“Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.”
Okay this is me talking now 🙂 I read this essay at a time when I most needed it. A reminder that we are always moving, always changing, always reaching for more because once one thing is accomplished we are again saying, “okay well if I just do this then I will be” We must learn to be happy where we are at in the moment. The moment is all that we have. Yesterday is over, why regret it, learn and move on. Tomorrow hasn’t come so why worry about it. Today though this very moment what will you do? How will you impact your life? How will you impact others lives? It is all in your hands. We have the true blessing of waking up each day to a brand new beginning. It is up to us how we use it. We can choose to go through the same struggles, the same worries, the same turmoil of the day before. We can choose to allow regrets and worries to haunt us and control us from day to day. OR we can lift up our chin, stick our chest out and boldly move into a new day with the conviction that we deserve better than we have been allowing ourselves. If you have to scream to get it through your thick skull then dang it scream, dance, cry whatever it is that you need to do to make yourself move through the journey to the station do it. But please, please do not sit on the bench waiting for the train to come to you because if you do everyone else will board the train without you and pass you by. You are worth the journey just get up and put one foot in front of the other. xoxo TJ
Okay…yeah that was a long hiatus I know but my inner thin girl is back and ready to try this again. This past year there has been crazy changes in my life, so many I won’t even go into detail because I’m bound to just start crying and then I’ll never finish this post. Let’s just say that trials and tribulations have been the name of the game and I won!!!!
Yeah, you read right I won and I’m ready for the next set of challenges…(grr I think) lol
So, here I am back on the track of trying to find MY HEALTHY (not the worlds healthy). I believe we all have to find our own since of healthy. Not everyone is going to go on the health craze of getting rid of every single bad thing possible. And I know me, that probably won’t be me. No I won’t go vegan, or vegetarian cause dog gone it I like a nice thick steak from time to time or a juice yummy succulent hamburger. However, my healthy is more of a let me learn what to eat, when to eat it and how much to eat. I think I’m more apt to stick to it that way. This will be my only post about it here on the main page, so if you want to follow my journey or lend some encouragement you will have to check for posts on the page tab marked Finding My Inner Thin Girl, otherwise I’m just journaling for myself and making it public to hold myself accountable.
So what this all means is it’s time for a lifestyle change, no more late night snacking out of boredom or emotions. No more quick runs for fast food because I’m being too lazy to cook. And ummm yeah this will be the hard one, no more Soda every time I want a drink… L Sigh! Water has got to become my friend.
Water is my friend, water is my friend, water is my friend, and water is my friend. It really is going to be the hardest one for me.
Okay so here are my goals for the next 12 weeks….
First I am not putting a number for weight loss amount because that is where I end up getting mad and quitting. Whatever I lose is going to be enough because I am going to have tried my hardest to make it happen.
So here are my goals
- Drink 4-6 bottles of water a day. (I cannot drink anything else until I have drank at least 4)
- Eat a salad for at least one meal a day or juice a meal. ( I love veggies so this isn’t going to be an issue, I hope)
- No late night snacking
- In bed no later than 11:00 p.m.
- 3 days cardio
- 3 days stretching/yoga
- Keep a journal…at least 1 entry a week (That would be you guys here, so hold me accountable)
This is where I’m going to start…I’m praying this is one I can stick with. I have issues with allowing depression or emotional eating to take control and using it as an excuse. Can’t let that happen anymore. I’m getting too old and it is too important to get my health in order, besides I want my grandbabies when I finally have them to be able to brag about their gorgeous grandma LOL
Who will hopefully look something like the picture below by then …..my goal body lol
Okay friends so that’s that! I normally would set up my goals and say okay here it is I’ll start next week, but if I’m going to do it, I just need to do it. So tomorrow morning it’s on. My accountability partner will have my before pic, weight, and measurements before the end of the night and we will be kicking butt together, love you Ann. I have fought the battle of the bulge all my life so all prayers are appreciated. It will take divine intervention to keep me on track and keep my loved ones sane during this time lol